FTWPoker

Words fail me. Original thread here.

OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZ, my girl wouldnt leave infact she locked herself upstairs like some crazy fall of the house of usher bitch. Im like “u better come downstairs and get the hell out!! shes like “this is my house!!!!!!!” Im like “WTF horse goblin, who u think u are? I grind this mortgage day and night!!” .she started making weird noises that reminded me of a tracheochtomy upstairs so I just ****ing ignore that sh1t. I got grind on the mind. Picked up KK in the small blind make a little raise and some punk tries to rush me with a min raise and I jam him for $29.50 and he folds. Next hand I get KK again different suits, and I make a little raise and the same guy, does the same min raise, and I jam him for 48.57 and he calls with 44 and Spikes a ****ign 4 OMGZZZZZZDZ< ,my eyeballs must have looked like they were gonna pop out and if they had I would have stamped on them FFSSSS. then I lose 8 more buy ins, 3 set over sets,a counterfeited 2 pair, a bigger boat and OMG, THIS GUY CALLS 3 streets of bluffs with queen high and inside stragth draw and catchs a queen on river FFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS”!!!OMGAZZZZZZZ… how can I lose over 100k in cash games and still lose 25nl OMGGGZGZZGZGGZ Kill me witha reindeer harpoon These degenerate pieces of **** kill me day in day out even when I play my best game my graphs look like a broken fckin ski lift..my bloodpressure is high too cus I checked it earlier (171/101)

I am so pissed that im spitting cereal at this point cus I am down to 98.72 dollars..WTF thats a pathetic short stack at 1/2. I march upstairs, gunning for my girfriend, I want to really push her out of a window by this point and I find her choking herself out with a ****ing phone cord WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF. I want to leave her but I guess I have to save her so I untie the chord and her tongue was hanging out, she was the color of a dolphin, and I couldnt help but notice how I was glad I had not impregnanted her womb upto this point. So she starts croaking some kinda nonsense and she has what looks like a burnmark around her neck and says “look what u did” IM LIKE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FF” shes stars whimpering and she says shes gonna call her dad and get him to **** me up (yea right, hes fat and slow as ****). So yea, we fight over the phone being plugged back in cus I seriosuly dont want her calling him at 3am!!!! probably sayin I tried to strangulate her or some BS.

I get her to promise me she will not call him and I let her stay over out of sympathy she said she thinks she is coming on her periods. Im like i do not care for periods. I go downstairs and I dont even wanna play poker cus I am so upset now, I cried quite hard i must admit to some RnB which was quite good for me because I really thought agter that I could grind the 98.72 dollars, I made myself a mayo sandwich and sat down to think abot bankroll management.. I didnt know what to do with the 98.72 so I went to blackjack, and im like ok if I double up im fire up 4 tables of 50nl and grind till dawn. my logic is like ok fire the whole 98 with the first hand, no ****ing around…I bet 98, I get dealt j5 (:-()) Dealer shows A-, and it says Do u want insurance???? Im like omgdzzzzzz and the light flashes RED and he flips over BLACKJACK, on the first go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGG I pick up a mug of cold coffee and throw that **** at the wall and immediately I am so angry at the stain…..IM ****ING BUSTO AGAIN!!!!! WTF…I sell my girls poodle, I sell my action men, a exercise bike and im still ****in busto, and all my credit cards are maxed out and I dont even know what to do, I need mortgage cash and at least some throwaway MTT punts..

Next thing you know there are headlights pulling up on the driveway, its 4 39 am WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. its gotta be the cops!!!, nope its fatty mc fat fat, her papa showed up and im thinking she is a catergorical lie bag bitch. He comes walking up to the door and I dont know why I did this but I switched off the light (probably a bad idea) hid under the table in the office hoping he would go away….he knocked again much louder and I was thinking that I wished I was on the roof to drop something on his head like my girlfriend.. So Im hiding in the office and eventually my girl comes downstairs and I hear them talking he sees the mark on her neck ndsays he he says “DID HE DO THaT??!?!!” and she didnt say anything, she like changes the subject like a teasy bitch!!!!!! WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, how can you sit on the fence about strangling yourself????? I shout through the door that his daughter is a crazy mental bitch who tried to kill herself probably over a poodle and thats when he hears where I am and shes like “no daddy dont” and hes like” HAS HE FORCIBLY ENTERED YOU?” Im like “WTF” and shes like “No daddy nooo”, but not even her largely obese frame could hold him back .. im quite scared at this point because he is fat and slow but a cunning fat person. He starts barging the door and i’m counting my outs. he called me a tinweasel? IM thinking WT****ING HELL…… This king ralph looking mofo is dissing me???? ,

Im mad now and ready to go like a red rag to a bull.. and ready to fight them both even though I promised never to hit a woman, but after everything she put me through I decide to yell that I i sold her poodle for poontang..at this point he breaks the door down with a grunt and im sure he farted with the exertion..I was disgusted. we were heads up and as far as I was concerned I was raising even without the button. I step to him and I throw a left that misses and he hits me with a right, but he was really sluggish and I managed to catch him with a haymaker and thats when he did the most ridiculously looking roundhouse kick for a fat person I have ever seen…I catch his leg and spin him around…I decided as this point that a fist fight was probably -EV because of his flab and my small fists so I decided to **** him up with a paper weight(which I did) It only took 4 hits to the head for him to be flat on the floor and then I sat on his back and glouged his eyes out im like “THIS IS HOW BUSTO FEELS”..hes like screaming louder than his daughter at this point ” CALLLLLLL THE SHERIFF”..thats when my girlfriend hit me on the ****ing head with somethign, I aint know what that **** was but it made a loud BONG noise, I turn around and I really dont know why I did this but I kicked her in the pu$$y,,,OMGZZZ I WAS SO ****ING MAD I SAID OKKKK, THATS IT..U EITHER STAKE ME, LET ME HAVE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT SO I CAN BONUS WHORE OR I WILL KILL YOUR FATHER…SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT BONUS WHORING is????….I EXPLAIN I NEED NEW POKER ACCOUnts to get the bonuses why dont u understand??????

She says “NO” because I spent all her money once before I TRY to explain its different because its basically like getting rakeback for a month but she still dont get it, no college degree having bitch.. im like razz would suit you bitch.. so I go upstairs and I dont know why id did this i think maybe it was maybe because variance had never been so cruel to me the most ridisculous swongs ever worse than brian townsend and gus hansen put together
so Im thinking of complete dark thoughts I go upstairs and sit there and stare at a piece of wall paper vaguely aware I am dribbling and then i set fire to myself ….I woke up in ER with 33% (flush draw) burns the DR told me I was lucky to be here or some uplifting sh1t, all I could think about was being busto…

It hasn’t been a good few weeks for Bodog, as Gambling911 is reporting that the site is now having difficulty not only paying players but has taken to stiffing affiliates and other vendors as well:

Affiliates, while still receiving installment checks from Bodog (BodogLife.com) were complaining that “customer conversions were way down” and that the company was changing its payment terms without notice.

The troubled online gambling firm – once a powerhouse among Gambling911.com sponsors – was taken down from the site last week. It has been unable to process payments to and from gamblers since Forbes reported that bank accounts were seized from the US Government over the last six months.

According to the article on Forbes.com, $24 Million in funds has been seized by the US government over the past six months, funds the feds claim are in bank accounts used to fund operations and make payments to US-based customers of Bodog. Court documents obtained by Forbes cite that the seizures began in January of this year, and had continued through July.

“Processing is an issue industry-wide,” a source tells Gambling911.com. “But in the case of Bodog, nobody (the processors) wants to do business with them due to their high profile and the problems they are having with the US Government.”

This same source tells Gambling911.com that Bodog is discussing its options, including pulling out of the US market after football season in February of 2009, though it remained unclear if they

Bodog’s high profile stance since the UIGEA was passed (especially that of its flamboyant founder Calvin Ayers) may be coming back to bit it in its ass, as being firmly in the US government’s crosshairs doesn’t seem to be helping its business at the moment.

Only time will tell if the site can recover from the current setbacks but it’s hard to say the future looks good, as Bodog has continued to market itself largely to the US market, so having to abandon that market means losing a huge chunk of their player base without much in the way to fall back on, as far as worldwide presence.

According to this article at PokerNews, the marketing team at Betfair could stand to do a little research when they’re coming up with their next poker promo.

They recently rolled out a promo that paid an extra $100,000 to anyone who won the Annette $20k guaranteed and a $6k or 5k guaranteed tournament in the same month, assuming it’d drum up interest and rake, hopefully paying for itself by the time someone took it down, yada yada yada.

Unfortunately for Betfair, it took all of 1 day for redmist1 to collect the $100K, at which point they stopped offering the promo moving forward. Betfair, FTL!

As reported by BankRollBoost, Durrr is probably happy to see the month of July in the rearview mirror after claiming in chat at Full Tilt to have lost more than $1.6 million in a week playing live poker:

durrrr: i lost 1.6m this week live
durrrr: =(
OnTheRize: i heard
OnTheRize: sick game
OnTheRize: too big for me
OnTheRize: srry man
durrrr: me2
durrrr: im hoping to run good online
durrrr: n get even by the end of july
OnTheRize: u always do well online
OnTheRize: u’ll get it back
OnTheRize: this is all a learning experience for me

Bluescouse fans were used to long periods of silence from time to time, usually proceeded by a blog post titled “Broke”, “Break”, or “Not a Good Day”, but he’s been MIA since his last post on May 30th:

turned the £500 into £6750 last night, and got up to £15k-18k tonight during the peak of my final session today. then i lost it all within the next 45mins.

Is this the end of the ’scouse? His later posts had hinted at selling his house to reload his bankroll but those plans were always a bit short on details, assuming he did indeed purchase a house at some point with his previous winnings.

Have to admit I’d be a bit sad if he’s gone for good, as his blog was always a fun read for the obvious vicarious thrill of seeing a true degen in action.