Kind of amusing that assorted people point out that the graph should be taken with a grain of salt as it’s just a 46K hand sample. I’d be more than happy to need a grain of salt with any graph of mine that shows a $2.3+ million profit on the year from clicking a mouse, so that seems a bit of stupid criticism to make. Granted, indeed, ’tis a very swingy game at those stakes, but an impressive graph nonetheless.

—– Original Message —–
From: bkessler@udel.edu
Sent: 2008/08/07 09:57:48
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: URGENT* The Mini Jew’s doomswitch* URGENT

>Dear Pokerstars,
>
> You recently told me that your client was in no fashion rigged, nor
my account doomswitched. Then this occured.
>PokerStars Game #19428719560: Tournament #99190476, $100+$9 Hold’em No
Limit – Level IV (50/100) – 2008/08/07 – 09:55:33 (ET)
>Table ‘99190476 3′ 9-max Seat #7 is the button
>Seat 1: The Mini Jew (2560 in chips)
>Seat 2: Romax82 (4030 in chips)
>Seat 3: ——oi (820 in chips)
>Seat 4: the_rotter77 (8640 in chips)
>Seat 5: Reintd (5380 in chips)
>Seat 6: Romeplayer (4125 in chips)
>Seat 7: mufasa36 (2515 in chips)
>Seat 8: janheite (5490 in chips)
>Seat 9: ewqwqe (5310 in chips)
>janheite: posts small blind 50
>ewqwqe: posts big blind 100
>*** HOLE CARDS ***
>Dealt to The Mini Jew [Ac Ks]
>The Mini Jew: calls 100
>Romax82: folds
>——oi: folds
>the_rotter77: folds
>Romeplayer said, “lol, what a gift”
>Reintd: raises 5280 to 5380 and is all-in
>Romeplayer: folds
>mufasa36: folds
>janheite: folds
>ewqwqe: folds
>The Mini Jew: calls 2460 and is all-in
>Uncalled bet (2820) returned to Reintd
>*** FLOP *** [8h 4s 9d]
>*** TURN *** [8h 4s 9d] [4d]
>*** RIVER *** [8h 4s 9d 4d] [7d]
>*** SHOW DOWN ***
>The Mini Jew: shows [Ac Ks] (a pair of Fours)
>Reintd: shows [9c 9s] (a full house, Nines full of Fours)
>Reintd collected 5270 from pot
>*** SUMMARY ***
>Total pot 5270 | Rake 0
>Board [8h 4s 9d 4d 7d]
>Seat 1: The Mini Jew showed [Ac Ks] and lost with a pair of Fours
>Seat 2: Romax82 folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
>Seat 3: ——oi folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
>Seat 4: the_rotter77 folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
>Seat 5: Reintd showed [9c 9s] and won (5270) with a full house, Nines
full of Fours
>Seat 6: Romeplayer folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
>Seat 7: mufasa36 (button) folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
>Seat 8: janheite (small blind) folded before Flop
>Seat 9: ewqwqe (big blind) folded before Flop
>
>
>
>What is this?
>
>Please explain.
>
>Thanks,
>
>The Mini Jew
>

Hello Bryan,

Thank you for your email. I’ve reviewed that hand but I’m really not sure
why you have sent it to us?

You went all-in as an underdog pre-flop and lost. I’m not sure what’s so
significant about that?

Regards,

ScottW
PokerStars Support Team

—– Original Message —–
From: bkessler@udel.edu
Sent: 2008/08/07 10:30:03
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: RE: URGENT* The Mini Jew’s doomswitch* URGENT

>Dear ScottW,
>
>I am willing to send you .73 cents to let me out of the dungeon.
>
>Can I do this?
>
>Thanks,
>
>Bryan

Hello Bryan,

If he had “a dungeon” then I’m pretty sure 73 cents would not be
sufficient to bribe the jailor. Luckily as we don’t, you don’t have to
bribe anyone.

Regards,

ScottW
PokerStars Support Team

—– Original Message —–
From: bkessler@udel.edu
Sent: 2008/08/07 10:35:09
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: RE: URGENT* The Mini Jew’s doomswitch* URGENT

>Dear ScottW,
>
> Although you may not know about it, I am fairly certain that my
account is in “jail”. It is statistically impossible to lose at the rate
I am losing, being that I am, of course a winning poker player. Please,
show me a blueprint of the Pokerstars headquarters so as to assure me that
there is no dungeon.
>
>Thanks,
>
>The Mini Jew
>
>

Hello Bryan,

There is almost nothing in poker that is “statistically impossible”.
Statistically unlikely perhaps, but not impossible. However we can not
comment on why you may or may not be losing on our site as that isn’t
something we have any control over.

We make our money from rake and tournament fees alone. It makes no
difference to us who wins and loses. Clearly we aren’t going to
arbitrarily decide to ‘punish’ some players and ‘reward’ others. To do
such a thing clearly makes no sense at all and obviously we do not do that.

We hope your luck improves in the future.

Regards,

ScottW
PokerStars Support Team

________________________________________

>Dear ScottW (Or whichever pokerstars bot replies…Scott is a very nice
man though),
>
>I see you have avoided my request for a copy of the blueprint of the
headquarters. I see how it is.
>
>Regards,
>
>The Mini Jew
>
>

Hello Bryan,

Thank you for your email. Normally we are not supposed to respond to such
requests but as you seem like a trustworthy guy please find the requested
document attached to this email.

If you have any further questions please don’t hesitate to get back in
touch with us.

Regards,

ScottW
PokerStars Support Team

During the day’s $1000/$2000 H.O.R.S.E. action on Full Tilt Poker tables Hatteras, Elk, and Eli Elezra, the player known as “LoLiNa” was able to finish with the biggest win as he raked in over $110K thru 472 hands. Other winners at the tables included Gus Hansen ($45K+), “i_cheat_u” ($44K+), and David Oppenheim ($34K+). The biggest losers consisted of “frog22″ (-$42K), Rob Hollink (-$47K), Allen Cunningham (-$52K), and “tongni” (-$80K).